Another Puncak Alam run.This time it is at the famous Altanthuya hill. Following the hash sign, I arrived at 5.30pmand park on the right side of the main road. A few wankers shying from the heat of the sun huddle together in the shade provided by a car door, how pathetic. Don't they know that the great sunny, warm & humid sun is good from them especially the part of their anatomy where the sun don't shine. I took a piss beside them and makes them moaning at me. After a while more wankers started pouring in car by car. Today I had the pleasure to meet Uncle Looi, a pioneer hasher at age 78 and still wanking. Then come Only One & Ghandi who brought Dongnut & Currypuff plus Banana from Handyman & Seremban Siew Pau from Superman. Thanks guys.
With the absent of GW, exactly 6.00pm On Sex (Hyena) called On On heading east on a straight tacmac road leading to the dam. After a short distance, the hare CUNTractor turn right into the woods and up. His Cock Hares includes Mah Lau, Daimond Ass and two veteran hasher Messy & Smokie. No doubt, everyone will expected a tough run. Uncle Looi encouraged the young Wankers to enjoy themselves as the paper guided us to a smooth slope up to the first check. We spread out to three direction, Korek straight, Handyman & Sawasdee right, Icebreaker, Nangka, Recycle, Banker, Kool Dogg to the left towards the lake, split to left and right. Minutes passed, Handyman broke the check and called On On from the far right. We approached another smooth slope with up down and flat path except Ghandi riding on Hyena's back making a U turn. (Maybe that plick Hyena can smell something up ahead and decided to abort the run). Along the way tor'n tor'n were heard regularly. The second check was easily broken by Handyman. This is where the Wankers begin to splitting in to smaller groups.
After another balance track, we arrived at the third check. Straight is a up hill path which Nangka,Kool Dogg & Char Siew Fan took for a try, Tai Kau Fan to the left. When the back Wankers started approaching the check point, Tai Kau Fat called On On. (Again he broke the check)What a hasher?????. With a numbers of wankers ahead which I presume, I pick up the pace and attempt to reach them. In no time I pass by Superman,who is experiencing a heat built-up in his cooling system. Then I reach Korek, Raymond and Hai Pei (Vulva). Motivating them to keep up the pace, I keep moving up hill, passing by an area of chopped woods. Finally, I Manage to catch up with the FROPs (Front Runners On Paper) closely followed by Vulva & Raymond.
Some discussion were going on among those front group, after Chicken Man received a call from the hare asking us to turn back. However, we were told those behind us had already make a turn. Nangka propose we go ahead along the track,which agreed with those present. With Tai Kau Fat leading the way, we went down hill with paper still visible. Another ten minutes,things started changing, it is getting dark and everyone know the crunch is now on. We started to make plans. (1.Stay together. 2.Torchlight on front,behind and middle. 3.Start counting, starting by 1 front to 10 behind.) Only we know Foo Chok is on our back sweeping us. Jokes, motivation & etc still carried on along the path and we come to a tricky track,with thin short logging path over narrow stream. Too bad for Nangka, wrong footing, down he go into the stream. (Laughter fills the night air swirling round the hill). There were torns everywhere, left, right and center, they keep attacking us in the dark. Got myself stung two times on head and one on hand. Same with Recycle and the others, wonder if anyone fail to protect their family jewels. Still moving forward, we moved down and reach some palm trees area, which provided us a wider track.
Stop! Someone in front say, quite and listen???. Everyone froze, and yes there were some On On sound around. Everyone take a break, suggested Kool Dogg! All shout together Are Youbbb!!!!!! We heard On On from behind. There are still some wankers behind us. Again decision have to make "Wait or Proceed". Somehow we proceeded slowly at the same time kept shouting On On, just to guide the backpackers. Now the path look more easy, suddenly Simon Templer catching up with us. He look like a messenger to us. Ya, true enough the whole bunch of wankers are behind us. That's it, the final decision being make. "Wait,wait,wait in no hurry"In less than 5min all Wankers are back together in one pack. Reaching the first check point as we came in, everyone know we are out. (Only One got a cramp during this ordeal and was helped by Longkang & Superman along the path. Only One even ask to be abandoned with a torchlight. No way said Lonkang,"WE ARE WANKERS", we stick together. Well done Longkang & Superman! Back to the last slope, helping hand were given by Handyman, Nangka, Mountain Hee and Kool Dogg, the last group all out).
{My personal opinion, this had been a good Lan. Every wankers had been tested their physically,mentally,leadership,patient,tolerence,discipline and most important Team Work} Bravo Wankersssssssss......!!!!!!!!!!! On On.
Back to the site, Hare & Co.Hare welcoming us with mix expression (Happy, Guilty, Concerned, Relieved and whatever....) Only we know Co.Hare Messy also got stung by torns and most funny thing is Mah Lau vomited 4 times while setting the run. Do anyone know what happen to our energetic Mah Lau. Fuckssss! [Lack of Ying yang balance].
After half an hour cooling down (refilling in water, beer, having some leftover dongnut and of course taking a cooling naked bath in an open enviroment) that's the best part in Hashing!
Mah Lau blew his horn calling for circle. Messy leading the Wankers singing the wanking song and Acting Grand Wanker (AGW) Smokie took the box. Ghandi as Acting Bard because of TanSeiLei missing in action. Instantly, AGW asked how about the Lan, all wankers dare not answer because most of them didn't completed the run. So AGW called on the Hare (Cun'tractor) on the box to ask for himself. Well!!! same respond, so he called upon his Cock Hares (Messy,Smokie & Mah Lau) and thank them for helping to set the run and announce the the OnOn will be at Chong Foong Restaurant. AGW back on box, firing up those guilty wankers who promise to attend Kenny Wang Wang mooncake nite. Suppose to be 30 guys, only 9 turned up. AGW advise these plicks to apologise to Kenny Wang. Moving on, On Sex makes announcement the comming outstation Lan & the annual account to be declare to all wankers. Then come the Batu Api, Wee weeee, is (Hyena). The first on Ice Throne is AGW himself. Offence "sarung terbalik". Good shot Batu Api! Followed by Sawasde & Chicken Man wearing "PONDAN Hash" T-shirt. Refer to photo attached! Motorbike on Ice. Oh Ya, Handyman forgotten to bring the original Ice Throne. Using the temporary Ice bag, those fellas guilty wankers can miss their change on Ice. Again Sawadee and Recycle,Nangka,Mountain Hee,Kool Dogg,Handyman all on Ice. After those infinitely pleasant session, AGW on box again, called the ten Magnificent 10 wankers who completed the LAN. Here are the M.10 (Tai Kau Fatt,Nangka,Recycle,Kool Dogg,WalWa,Foo Chook,Mun Chai,Chicken Man,Mountain Hee and Raymond). Still going on, AGW got a comment from Uncle Looi, he said, this chapter is a great and very potential chapter in future. He will try his best to help us on our Kau Chat (97) Celeb Lan.B ig hand to the Wankers! Lastly grace were said to our Hare, Rub a Dup Dup, On On....!
Reaching CF Restaurant, three tables were serve with (Garupa deep fried with pepper sauce, Mince pork on fried tau foo, Claypot mutton with dry chili, Lemon fried chicken, Famous Kangkong belacan and two ???.Beer on Tong Tong keep following until approx. 10.15pm. Messy called OnOnOn to Phang Pooi place just a couple km. There, again three smaller tables were joint together, Tong Tong were called by Simon Templer and laughter, fucking, ma hai ma hai filled the restaurant again. Later, Tai Lok Mee & Assam Stingray were served. Drink and eat till my Thummy bigger than Hyena & Icebreaker, look like is going to blow up, I waive a white flag to call for the night. See U wankers next Lan# 64 at Kota Damansara (Mah Lau) Lan. On On!
, the ice of course.
